Philippians 4:6-7, 13 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Do you truly understand what Paul is telling you? I didn't.
My entire life I have been an anxious person. When I was younger, I used to have major stomach problems. My tummy always hurt. "Up high" is where the pain was. I was taken to the pediatrician often. I had esophageal reflux syndrome as a baby, so I guess my parents and the doctor thought the pains were residual from this syndrome.
It wasn't until my dad took me to a specialist that we found out what the issue was. The stomach pains had nothing to do with my stomach, but my head. It was anxiety. I am sure that was the last thing my parents expected, but I assume relieved since there wasn't anything physically wrong with me. I remember sitting with my dad at IHOP eating pancakes and he kept asking me what was wrong and was I upset about anything. I am sure I know what the issue was looking back on the situation, but I hadn't a clue then.
It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that anxiety isn't something you can just get rid of. GAD, general anxiety disorder is: exaggerated worry and tension, often expecting the worst, even when there is no apparent reason for concern.It wasn't until my dad took me to a specialist that we found out what the issue was. The stomach pains had nothing to do with my stomach, but my head. It was anxiety. I am sure that was the last thing my parents expected, but I assume relieved since there wasn't anything physically wrong with me. I remember sitting with my dad at IHOP eating pancakes and he kept asking me what was wrong and was I upset about anything. I am sure I know what the issue was looking back on the situation, but I hadn't a clue then.
So what does that have to do with the Philippians? It means not only then, but now, we can rely on God to help us through our sorrows. Nothing is too big or small to bring to God. He may know what will happen to us, but He does not control how we handle it. Handing over your sorrows and anxiety is easy to say, right? It is about trust. Trusting God will handle life for us. Do you trust Him? If you trust Him, He will ease your anxiety.
I have a major issue going on at work that is causing a lot of stress in my life. And it is only going to get worse in the coming weeks. Typically, I would be worrying over it day and night. No, really. That is all I would be able to think about and talk about. But, for the first time in my life I let God take over. I am trusting Him to work it out for me and get me through the work problem. And I am completely at peace. Seriously. I still think about it, but not to worry. I think about it to make sure I am really at peace. Yep! It is freeing knowing God is there for me.
I don't know why it is so hard for humans to trust each other or God. He has kept every promise. He has loved us even when we turn our backs on Him. And yet, we still don't trust Him. God will see you through whatever trouble you are having. He will comfort you and take away the anxiety and hurt. All you have to do is trust Him. It is the best thing I have ever done for myself.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Plateau's come and go
It has been 8 months since I started this journey. Three months on the pill and I lost 19 lbs. Yeah, you read that right. After the first 6 weeks I didn't lose any more weight. It was a stressful time at work during the last 6 weeks. And if you already don't know, stress hormones called Cortisol. You can thank it for the spare tire or belly bulge.
So after the first three months on Phentermine, I took a month off per the doctor. Your body can become adjusted to it and the pill won't be as effective. Great, so November, home of the most gluttonous day of the year, is my month off. I kept to my 1500 calorie diet and on Thanksgiving I ate what I wanted to and let it go.
At the first of December I was to start another three month stint on Phentermine. I had lost 3 lbs. Not even on the pill! At the end of December, another 10 lbs was lost. January 31st, I was down another 5. Now, at the end of February, my weight had not changed in a month, but I could definitely start to tell in my clothes. Turns out I had dropped a total of 42 lbs since July 31st. And I dropped two pants sizes.
So, April 1 started my next three month stint. If I lost another 20 pounds, that would average out to be a pound a week. Which is really healthy, but not as fast as I would like it. Having PCOS though, I couldn't expect better results. Its easy to lose a lot of weight when you have a lot to lose. The more you lose or the closer to your goal weight you get, the less likely you will get the same results from the Phentermine lifestyle.
Here's to hoping I have continued success!
So after the first three months on Phentermine, I took a month off per the doctor. Your body can become adjusted to it and the pill won't be as effective. Great, so November, home of the most gluttonous day of the year, is my month off. I kept to my 1500 calorie diet and on Thanksgiving I ate what I wanted to and let it go.
At the first of December I was to start another three month stint on Phentermine. I had lost 3 lbs. Not even on the pill! At the end of December, another 10 lbs was lost. January 31st, I was down another 5. Now, at the end of February, my weight had not changed in a month, but I could definitely start to tell in my clothes. Turns out I had dropped a total of 42 lbs since July 31st. And I dropped two pants sizes.
So, April 1 started my next three month stint. If I lost another 20 pounds, that would average out to be a pound a week. Which is really healthy, but not as fast as I would like it. Having PCOS though, I couldn't expect better results. Its easy to lose a lot of weight when you have a lot to lose. The more you lose or the closer to your goal weight you get, the less likely you will get the same results from the Phentermine lifestyle.
Here's to hoping I have continued success!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Sinus Surgery
This is for all of you thinking about having sinus surgery. I am going to tell you the real story.
After chronic sinusitis for 17 years, I finally bit the bullet and decided to have the surgery. The stories that are out there about the surgery and recovery are horrible at best. The packing after surgery is enough to second guess yourself, and to hear war stories about it coming out is awful. Packing, for those of you not in the know, is basically gauze that is shoved up your nose to pack the sinus and nasal cavities to help stop the blood and mucus leaking. Gross. And ouch...I'm sure that is going to stick to the inside of your nose and will hurt coming out.
So, I had my deviated septum straightened out, a turbinoplasty and the maxillary sinus drainage holes opened. Turbinates are in the lining of your nose that help warm the air your breath in and will swell and contract throughout the day. So when you can't breathe out of one side of your nose you can thank the turbinates. The maxillary sinus cavity is on each side of your nose located behind your cheeks. If I get a sinus infections, my face tends to hurt and sometimes even my upper teeth hurt. Its the maxillary sinus cavity.
Plan on having someone stay with you for 7-10 days. You are going to feel better after a few days, but you cannot lean over, bend down or pick anything up for at least that long. You need the help.
We were asked to get to the hospital at 11am. My mom came up to stay with me. We got to the hospital at 10:36am and they showed us to my pre op room where they gave me a sheet with sleeves and asked me to get naked and put it on. The sheet is way worse than a hospital gown from TV. At least those look like they close, these don't. I left my underwear on. Since the surgery will only last about 2.5 - 3 hours, I won't need a catheter.
At noon, two nurses finally show up. My nerves are out of control at this point. I have never been in the hospital or had a procedure before. I didn't know what to expect and was completely out of my element. One nurse was asking me questions and the other was finding a vein for the IV. I have small veins, so I warned her. I am a big chicken when it comes to pain. Like, a big fat baby when it comes down to it. And I am an anxious individual to begin with. She said she was going to get some Lidocaine to numb the area and would then be able to get it in without hurting me.
For those of you who do not want pain DO NOT get Lidocaine. It isn't something they rub on your skin. It is a shot and it is the worst pain I have had in my entire life. Surgery included. It felt like she was shoving a red hot poker into my skin without the heat. I screamed out a very colorful word that I got chastised for my one of the nurses and my mother. And FYI, I still felt the IV pinch. No, it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I still felt it.
So the devil's spawn nurse left with her needles and left me with the other nice nurse. She set up my blood pressure cuff, put on the TEDS and helped me get to the bathroom. TEDS are like really tight thigh highs. They help your blood to not pool while you are on the operating table. You will actually keep these on for another day after you leave the hospital. And I will say, they help keep you warm. And the reason I needed help getting the bathroom was now I was hooked up to an IV pole. She made me take of my underwear. Damn.
The nurse came back and gave me 1000mg of Tylenol. At that time my doctor came in to see me along with the anesthesiologist. He freaked me out even more than I already was (I was in a cold sweat from about 12:30 on). Apparently, after surgery, he wakes you up to make sure you can breathe on your own before he takes the ventilation tube out. Um, what?!?!? Hearing that made me pretty much freak out further. Apparently though, due to the anesthesia, you are not cognitive. The breathing is the involuntary action. Don't worry, you will not know anything until you wake up in recovery.
At 2:30 the nurses finally came to get me for surgery. I said bye to my mom and started to cry. Nerves. At that point the nurses gave me some big time anti-anxiety drugs. I was wheeled through the hall to the operating room. Moved myself onto the table from the bed and met the three nurses in there. I only remember Ken's name. I thanked them and went to sleep. I don't know if it was the drugs or I hyperventilated and passed out. Whatever it was, it worked. The next thing I heard was the recovery nurse.
I felt my nose stuffed up and the gauze on my upper lip (the drip pad). The nurse introduced herself and asked me to open my eyes. I saw her and the room and then went back to sleep. I woke up again and realized there was something on my mouth and I was trying to breathe. It was the oxygen mask. I tried pushing it off. I have a fear of suffocating so this was not helping. The more deep breaths you take, the faster you will wake out of general anesthesia. There was a lot of crud in my mouth and throat. It is blood and mucus and you should expect it. The recovery team will suck it out for you, but in post op they do not have that option. Ice chips will wet your mouth and it will break up the crud. Trust me.
When I was awake and aware, they wheeled me into post op where my mom was. I was in and out of consciousness and being a type A personality, I did not like it. Its like being awake and then being pulled under to dreamless sleep. And then waking up again. I spent about an hour and a half in post op doing this and eating ice chips while awake. This is the worst you will ever feel.
My head felt full, like a major sinus infection and since it was swollen inside, I felt pressure. The nurse was right when she said to take your underwear off. You really, really don't want to lean over to do anything. The post op nurses will help you get your clothes back on when it is time to go home. I sat up and immediately got nauseous. More than likely, it was the anesthesia and it was the only time I got sick. Expect it. You will not throw up, but you will be sick to your stomach. Cold cloths on your forehead and wrists help and breathing deeply will help. It will pass as quickly as it came on.
So, I got wheeled out of the hospital. They will give you to go water and ice chips. A little bit of planning should be done before you go to the hospital in that respect. Go ahead and buy a bag of ice and have chips on hand for the first night. I think I went through a bag of ice in the first 24 hours. Not only does it help wet your mouth (now that you are breathing out of it), it helps the swelling through the roof of your mouth. I ate ice chips for about 4 days following surgery.
You will not have an appetite. But trust me when I tell you that eating will help you feel better. I had jello, applesauce and yogurt in the fridge. I lived on that for about a day and a half. Soup is good too. It goes down fast, its warm, its filling and it will give you the nutrients you need. You won't feel like eating it, but I swear, get it down. You will be thankful later on for it.
I slept sitting up on 5 pillows for the week following surgery. It is way uncomfortable and I am not a mouth breather so my mouth and throat were dry. But, I slept whenever I could. I dozed on and off for the first two days. They say your throat will be sore from the breathing tube. If your doctor is a good one, you won't have any pain. I have a small throat and I had no issues. If anything, your throat will hurt from the drainage. Seriously, the sore throat you get when you have a sinus infection is 20 times worse than you will feel after surgery.
My doctor used the foam/gel stuff for the packing. It is biodegradable and is not removed from your nose. I went in a week later to get the splints taken out and stuff sucked out. Being a big baby about pain and all this was another source of anxiety. I took a pain pill about 30 before the appointment. The doctor will spray a numbing agent up in your nose. He will go into your sinus cavity to suck out snot and scabs. It feels like he is sucking your teeth up through them. It wasn't comfortable, but it didn't hurt. What hurt was the end of the sucking tool pushing on my upper lip/end of my nose. Its been two weeks since then and it is still very sore right in that area.
Keep your nose moist with the Ocean spray and do your cleansing's twice a day. It will help clean it all out and prevent scarring and possibly not needing the doctor to suck anything out again. Now, its been two and a half weeks and one side of my nose is still really swollen. But that is the side that had the most trauma to it from surgery. I have just now been able to sleep through the night without waking up due to swelling.
If you are thinking out doing the surgery, don't wait any longer. It is going to help you so much in the long run. Good luck!
After chronic sinusitis for 17 years, I finally bit the bullet and decided to have the surgery. The stories that are out there about the surgery and recovery are horrible at best. The packing after surgery is enough to second guess yourself, and to hear war stories about it coming out is awful. Packing, for those of you not in the know, is basically gauze that is shoved up your nose to pack the sinus and nasal cavities to help stop the blood and mucus leaking. Gross. And ouch...I'm sure that is going to stick to the inside of your nose and will hurt coming out.
So, I had my deviated septum straightened out, a turbinoplasty and the maxillary sinus drainage holes opened. Turbinates are in the lining of your nose that help warm the air your breath in and will swell and contract throughout the day. So when you can't breathe out of one side of your nose you can thank the turbinates. The maxillary sinus cavity is on each side of your nose located behind your cheeks. If I get a sinus infections, my face tends to hurt and sometimes even my upper teeth hurt. Its the maxillary sinus cavity.
Plan on having someone stay with you for 7-10 days. You are going to feel better after a few days, but you cannot lean over, bend down or pick anything up for at least that long. You need the help.
We were asked to get to the hospital at 11am. My mom came up to stay with me. We got to the hospital at 10:36am and they showed us to my pre op room where they gave me a sheet with sleeves and asked me to get naked and put it on. The sheet is way worse than a hospital gown from TV. At least those look like they close, these don't. I left my underwear on. Since the surgery will only last about 2.5 - 3 hours, I won't need a catheter.
At noon, two nurses finally show up. My nerves are out of control at this point. I have never been in the hospital or had a procedure before. I didn't know what to expect and was completely out of my element. One nurse was asking me questions and the other was finding a vein for the IV. I have small veins, so I warned her. I am a big chicken when it comes to pain. Like, a big fat baby when it comes down to it. And I am an anxious individual to begin with. She said she was going to get some Lidocaine to numb the area and would then be able to get it in without hurting me.
For those of you who do not want pain DO NOT get Lidocaine. It isn't something they rub on your skin. It is a shot and it is the worst pain I have had in my entire life. Surgery included. It felt like she was shoving a red hot poker into my skin without the heat. I screamed out a very colorful word that I got chastised for my one of the nurses and my mother. And FYI, I still felt the IV pinch. No, it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I still felt it.
So the devil's spawn nurse left with her needles and left me with the other nice nurse. She set up my blood pressure cuff, put on the TEDS and helped me get to the bathroom. TEDS are like really tight thigh highs. They help your blood to not pool while you are on the operating table. You will actually keep these on for another day after you leave the hospital. And I will say, they help keep you warm. And the reason I needed help getting the bathroom was now I was hooked up to an IV pole. She made me take of my underwear. Damn.
The nurse came back and gave me 1000mg of Tylenol. At that time my doctor came in to see me along with the anesthesiologist. He freaked me out even more than I already was (I was in a cold sweat from about 12:30 on). Apparently, after surgery, he wakes you up to make sure you can breathe on your own before he takes the ventilation tube out. Um, what?!?!? Hearing that made me pretty much freak out further. Apparently though, due to the anesthesia, you are not cognitive. The breathing is the involuntary action. Don't worry, you will not know anything until you wake up in recovery.
At 2:30 the nurses finally came to get me for surgery. I said bye to my mom and started to cry. Nerves. At that point the nurses gave me some big time anti-anxiety drugs. I was wheeled through the hall to the operating room. Moved myself onto the table from the bed and met the three nurses in there. I only remember Ken's name. I thanked them and went to sleep. I don't know if it was the drugs or I hyperventilated and passed out. Whatever it was, it worked. The next thing I heard was the recovery nurse.
I felt my nose stuffed up and the gauze on my upper lip (the drip pad). The nurse introduced herself and asked me to open my eyes. I saw her and the room and then went back to sleep. I woke up again and realized there was something on my mouth and I was trying to breathe. It was the oxygen mask. I tried pushing it off. I have a fear of suffocating so this was not helping. The more deep breaths you take, the faster you will wake out of general anesthesia. There was a lot of crud in my mouth and throat. It is blood and mucus and you should expect it. The recovery team will suck it out for you, but in post op they do not have that option. Ice chips will wet your mouth and it will break up the crud. Trust me.
When I was awake and aware, they wheeled me into post op where my mom was. I was in and out of consciousness and being a type A personality, I did not like it. Its like being awake and then being pulled under to dreamless sleep. And then waking up again. I spent about an hour and a half in post op doing this and eating ice chips while awake. This is the worst you will ever feel.
My head felt full, like a major sinus infection and since it was swollen inside, I felt pressure. The nurse was right when she said to take your underwear off. You really, really don't want to lean over to do anything. The post op nurses will help you get your clothes back on when it is time to go home. I sat up and immediately got nauseous. More than likely, it was the anesthesia and it was the only time I got sick. Expect it. You will not throw up, but you will be sick to your stomach. Cold cloths on your forehead and wrists help and breathing deeply will help. It will pass as quickly as it came on.
So, I got wheeled out of the hospital. They will give you to go water and ice chips. A little bit of planning should be done before you go to the hospital in that respect. Go ahead and buy a bag of ice and have chips on hand for the first night. I think I went through a bag of ice in the first 24 hours. Not only does it help wet your mouth (now that you are breathing out of it), it helps the swelling through the roof of your mouth. I ate ice chips for about 4 days following surgery.
You will not have an appetite. But trust me when I tell you that eating will help you feel better. I had jello, applesauce and yogurt in the fridge. I lived on that for about a day and a half. Soup is good too. It goes down fast, its warm, its filling and it will give you the nutrients you need. You won't feel like eating it, but I swear, get it down. You will be thankful later on for it.
I slept sitting up on 5 pillows for the week following surgery. It is way uncomfortable and I am not a mouth breather so my mouth and throat were dry. But, I slept whenever I could. I dozed on and off for the first two days. They say your throat will be sore from the breathing tube. If your doctor is a good one, you won't have any pain. I have a small throat and I had no issues. If anything, your throat will hurt from the drainage. Seriously, the sore throat you get when you have a sinus infection is 20 times worse than you will feel after surgery.
My doctor used the foam/gel stuff for the packing. It is biodegradable and is not removed from your nose. I went in a week later to get the splints taken out and stuff sucked out. Being a big baby about pain and all this was another source of anxiety. I took a pain pill about 30 before the appointment. The doctor will spray a numbing agent up in your nose. He will go into your sinus cavity to suck out snot and scabs. It feels like he is sucking your teeth up through them. It wasn't comfortable, but it didn't hurt. What hurt was the end of the sucking tool pushing on my upper lip/end of my nose. Its been two weeks since then and it is still very sore right in that area.
Keep your nose moist with the Ocean spray and do your cleansing's twice a day. It will help clean it all out and prevent scarring and possibly not needing the doctor to suck anything out again. Now, its been two and a half weeks and one side of my nose is still really swollen. But that is the side that had the most trauma to it from surgery. I have just now been able to sleep through the night without waking up due to swelling.
If you are thinking out doing the surgery, don't wait any longer. It is going to help you so much in the long run. Good luck!
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